I have had to make a semi major decision in regards to my current study demands. I wasn’t able to attend the first day of lectures last Wednesday because of being very ill. I posted about the Ethical Dilemma this created.
This Wednesday I was totally shattered. I could barely move. I could barely think. The move had paid its toll on my mind, body and spirit. And so once again I had to again make the decision not to attend lectures. Which was extremely disappointing as I had been looking forward to going into college, as it was also its official opening day. The college had moved locations last year, and the day was organised into a variety of events, speeches, luncheons, books launches among other celebrations.
I also had the added struggle of then not having had a internet connection for 8 / 9 days. This made it hard to engage with the forum and online reading requirements. And frankly at the moment, I am so tired, the thought of engaging in any real substantial way with the reading at the moment is way off the radar. And so I am 2 weeks behind already.
Students are allowed to skip 3 lectures without penalty, and I have already used 3 of those absences already. The reality is that we are in Autumn, with Winter coming up, and with my immune system as low as it is, past history tells me I am likely to be taken during the semester with another cold or flu.
Within the framework of my post subject. I made the title of this post, the Study or the Study? This is in reference to our need to unpack and set up house. We have more work to do than planned in regards to painting and setting up bedrooms. We had quickly discovered that one room, which we thought we would give a quick lick of paint, needed major work. For the existing paint hadn’t been done properly and as we started to prepare the walls, the old paint peeled off in big strips. This required us to have to scrape back all the walls, which my side kick for the day and myself spent most of a day doing, before we moved. (Thanks Ben) At the moment, that room is locked up. I have no energy at the moment to even look at it. Until that is done, we shall continue to live out of suitcases, as we can’t get to the wardrobe beside our bed, such is the tight fit in the room we are bunked in. But, perhaps on Tuesday, we may get into once again.
The study also needs to be set up. Shelves need to be established. Books unpacked. Computer and printers set up. I also have to empty the storage unit, that we have stored tools and other stuff. Then there is the laundry – taps need fixing and the……..
So, I have had to make the hard call to drop out of this semesters subject. Some might say that I need to toughen up princess! (Hi Mark S ) But the reality is, there is no toughening up process for this journey. Chronic fatigue has no quick cure. There is no pressing through it. There is a price to be paid when one does try to and it takes a while to bounce back. Instead, its a continuation of continuing of pacing ones self to be able to continue the marathon of life.
While I do have to finish the degree within the next 3 years, finishing will not mean that I have arrived at a destination. Under God, I do not think it will qualify me any more for ministry, then what I am already qualified and called to do. In saying this, I do intend to continue my studies after I finish this degree and do a Masters. After that, perhaps a Doctorate. But my plan is not to hurry it. Because my studies are but a part of my life journey of walking with God, family, church and others, I can freely make this decision.