Study or the Study? What a decision.

I have had to make a semi major decision in regards to my current study demands. I wasn’t able to attend the first day of lectures last Wednesday because of being very ill. I posted about the Ethical Dilemma this created.

This Wednesday I was totally shattered. I could barely move. I could barely think. The move had paid its toll on my mind, body and spirit. And so once again I had to again make the decision not to attend lectures. Which was extremely disappointing as I had been looking forward to going into college, as it was also its official opening day. The college had moved locations last year, and the day was organised into a variety of events, speeches, luncheons, books launches among other celebrations.

I also had the added struggle of then not having had a internet connection for 8 / 9 days. This made it hard to engage with the forum and online reading requirements. And frankly at the moment, I am so tired, the thought of engaging in any real substantial way with the reading at the moment is way off the radar. And so I am 2 weeks behind already.

Students are allowed to skip 3 lectures without penalty, and I have already used 3 of those absences already. The reality is that we are in Autumn, with Winter coming up, and with my immune system as low as it is, past history tells me I am likely to be taken during the semester with another cold or flu.

Within the framework of my post subject. I made the title of this post, the Study or the Study? This is in reference to our need to unpack and set up house. We have more work to do than planned in regards to painting and setting up bedrooms. We had quickly discovered that one room, which we thought we would give a quick lick of paint, needed major work. For the existing paint hadn’t been done properly and as we started to prepare the walls, the old paint peeled off in big strips. This required us to have to scrape back all the walls, which my side kick for the day and myself spent most of a day doing, before we moved. (Thanks Ben) At the moment, that room is locked up. I have no energy at the moment to even look at it. Until that is done, we shall continue to live out of suitcases, as we can’t get to the wardrobe beside our bed, such is the tight fit in the room we are bunked in. But, perhaps on Tuesday, we may get into once again.

The study also needs to be set up. Shelves need to be established. Books unpacked. Computer and printers set up. I also have to empty the storage unit, that we have stored tools and other stuff. Then there is the laundry – taps need fixing and the……..

So, I have had to make the hard call to drop out of this semesters subject. Some might say that I need to toughen up princess! (Hi Mark S Smile ) But the reality is, there is no toughening up process for this journey.  Chronic fatigue has no quick cure. There is no pressing through it. There is a price to be paid when one does try to and it takes a while to bounce back.  Instead, its a continuation of continuing of pacing ones self to be able to continue the marathon of life.

While I do have to finish the degree within the next 3 years, finishing will not mean that I have arrived at a destination. Under God, I do not think it will qualify me any more for ministry, then what I am already qualified and called to do. In saying this, I do intend to continue my studies after I finish this degree and do a Masters.  After that, perhaps a Doctorate. But my plan is not to hurry it. Because my studies are but a part of my life journey of walking with God, family, church and others, I can freely make this decision.

About Craig Benno

I'm an average aussie guy who has lived perhaps a not so average life.
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10 Responses to Study or the Study? What a decision.

  1. shirlmo says:

    Craig, you are doing the wise thing. When we have a chronic illness, we do need to pace ourselves and do the best for our body, oursleves and the family.

  2. shirlmo says:

    Shirley Mortara that is. In case you are wondering who the heck this is. 🙂

    • Craig Benno says:

      I suspected it was you Shirley. There is a tension in learning to pace ourselves. I am finding that my stamina is increasing, and was surprised I lasted as long as I did. However, once you hit the wall, it takes a long time to bounce back again. But the Lord is good. 4 and a bit years ago, I was in a wheel chair, 12 months ago I was using a walking stick… I can’t really complain. 🙂

    • Craig Benno says:

      Once the study is set up, I am thinking that I might also resume my Greek. I’m thinking of looking at ‘linguistics’ while I am at it, and will finally do a couple of promised book reviews. 😉

      • Dave Black says:

        Looking forward to those. I’m warning you, though: Linguistics is a big black hole. Once you start going down you’ll never get out. You’ll be hooked!

      • Craig Benno says:

        I have noticed its a ‘Black’ hole to be sucked into 😉 I did quickly read your book when I first got it and I found it helped me think about the use of languages in a different way, which I found increased my understanding of the Greek. In many ways, I wonder if a basic linguistic course should be done by students, before starting out with first semester Greek, or any other language for that matter.

  3. Not that we’re so special, but most can’t fathom how devastatingly exhausting chronic fatigue is, and how little energy there is for many people to begin with. That must be a hard decision but by now you know what you can handle. Hopefully people won’t be judging you about it. Take care of yourself.

    • Craig Benno says:

      Jeff, I am very content with my decision. I haven’t heard criticisms about it and if there were, well with what I have been through, they would be water of the ducks back. 🙂

  4. That Black hole thing is great.

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