The waves of life washing over my feet, hypnotically I stare ahead, not really noticing my feet sinking into the sands of time. It takes all my energy just to stand, against the forces against me.
The wind adds to the the pounding and the upheaval of the waves. Isolated and alone: though imbedded in a community of sand, each grain causing a community of likeness; where individuality is not rewarded. Together in unity they create the expansive illusion of beauty, while trying to stand against the eternal forces that are continually eroding and adding to their number.
It’s an allusion, for though it looks white and pure as far as one can see; the externality of the beach is lifeless. It’s deep down and buried under the beach where life abounds. Life abounds within and under the surface of the seas. As each wave crashes onto the shores, within the split second of cover, life devours that which the seas uncover, before covering that which it eroded so shortly before.
In the same way I hide from the ache of my soul. Yet the waves of life continually shows me that which I don’t want to see. Yet slowly, consistently and relentlessly I am buffeted from the winds and the waves which threaten to destroy me. The emotions of fear, anxiety, hopelessness and distrust are the waves of destruction which seek to overwhelm me.
Yet there is one who calms the storm. There is one who heals the ache. There is one in whom there is hope, mercy, peace, love and faithfulness. And its to he I cry – Lord can you not see the state of my soul. Can you not see what is going on in my life. Can you not see what is going on around me. Awake my Lord from your slumber and order the storms of life to stop, so that I may find your peace, stand in peace, and be covered in peace.
I am thankful for those storms. For without them, I wouldn’t know myself. I wouldn’t know my ache deep within. I wouldn’t be aware of my need. And in my crying out, I discovered that what I sought wasn’t what I thought and true peace truly enveloped my being.