My Rant of the day – Those “Brown Bastard’s”

Today’s Sunday Telegraph contains an interesting article written by someone who went undercover for three weeks to do an expose on Indian Call Centres and the training they undergo. Admittedly this centre is only one of 1000’s that exist in India and so cynically one may say that what he discovered was only specific to that centre…but the cynic in me doubts it very much.

The training was in regards to converting people from one phone plan to another. The reporter goes on to write that the trainers frequently tell the trainee’s that Australians are for the most part illiterate and that its only recently they have had college and university education available. They also say that Australians are pet loving, sports mad,  beer swilling racist drunkards who are most likely to call the phone sales people “You @!*&&^#$^ brown bastards” and in that event, just hang up on them…. yet if they do the bulk of their calling of a Friday night – that’s when you will get more sales because more of the population will be drunk enough to take up your offer. They are also taught to speak slower, because we don’t understand proper English.

It’s true that for the most part Aussies are sports mad. I mean, generally speaking we will have a bet on two flies crawling up the wall. And yes its true that in general us Aussies like to have a beer: perhaps three or four. It’s also true that for the most part we enjoy pets. I think its a great Aussie tradition that every child has a dog, pet rabbit, bird or fish of some description. And its true that we can be racist, like every one else can be racist.

But us Aussies also like to consider ourselves “Fair Dinkum” We enjoy a yarn or two. We enjoy a good joke, and we are considered to be one of the most generous nations in the world for putting our hands deep into our pockets to help another in need. We also hate having people trying to pull the wool over our eyes.

Now Australians traditionally have used the term “Bastard” in a number of ways. Typical of Australians we have made this to have a meaning of its own for in many ways its a form of endearment between mates… and you will often hear it said… “How yah going yah old bastard?” Indeed at one time, I was even a card carrying member of the Old Bastards Club. Originally it’s meaning was that of being illegitimate, or being born out of wedlock. And according to the Audio English Dictionary its also refers to something that is of dubious character.

I have had many calls from Indian call centres. Often they will tell me they are from  or associated with  TELSTRA (which is a lie) and try and get me to switch phone plans with them… Other times they will tell me they are ringing up about my electricity bill and want to get me to sign over to them and save money (another lie) However most of the calls are from scammers, either claiming to be from Microsoft who have detected a bug in my computer (Liars – in fact I recently stopped them from scamming my inlaw’s, who had given them their credit card details and were in the process of remotely accessing the control of their computer ) Offering me a cheap holiday (Liars) Offering me a refund on Carbon Tax (Liars) And they all have the same thing in common in that they try to pretend that they are calling from Melbourne, Sydney or Brisbane. (Liars)

They used to plaque me and annoy me every day…until last week I asked the caller if they were a Christian…the answer to that was Yes they were and why did I ask? My reply to them was…isn’t it a sin to LIE. There was dead silence on the phone for about 5 seconds and then the phone disconnected.

After reading today’s paper I can’t figure out why those Indian’s who continue to ring up while we are in the middle of dinner. Who ring us up trying to pass them selves off as someone they are not. Who continue to try and to scam us into something that is not legit… Why on earth do they call us racist if we do happen to call them “!@^^# yah Brown Bastard”

Now I have never actually heard the term “Brown Bastards” before reading today’s newspaper article, let alone use the term.  But hey, us Australians call it as it is. We have a saying, that if it looks like shit, smell’s like shit and sticks like shit…then it probably is shit! It’s simple…if you don’t want to be called a Brown Bastard…..then stop being a Brown Bastard and start being fair dinkum.

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About Craig Benno

I'm an average aussie guy who has lived perhaps a not so average life.
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