I have written a lot on this blog in the past about identity. This post is a continuation of that same theme.
Two weeks ago I sat in class next to a young man who was in a wheel chair. I had previously studied with him in 2006; when he was a fit young man, who loved his sport. Another person I know, whom I have written about is also recovering from a spinal accident. Shane recently wrote of his experience, in having to publically ask people whom he didn’t know, for help while he was out and about using public transport.
These experiences have once again forced me to look at my own identity and reassess who I am. I know what it is like to be disabled. I know what its like to have to use a wheel chair and a walking stick to mobilise. I haven’t had to use the walking stick on a regular basis for 6 months now; though I still have fatigue, balance and memory issues.
Yet for some irrational feeling; I found myself feeling guilty for no longer having to use a wheel chair. In some ways I felt awkward sitting beside my friend. It wasn’t because of his disability; the awkwardness stemmed from my not knowing how to handle the issue and experience of Gods restorative power in my life – why was I mobile and not him. Why does God answer some prayers and not others.
Yet again I was forced to look at the fact that our identity as Christians is not formed in what we can or can’t do. It’s not formed by what we have or don’t have. Our identity must be shaped by the fact that God is in control and he knows what he is doing in the lives of each one of us…and it was while reflecting on this, that this verse came to mind from Corinthians
In reflecting on this passage; I am able to rejoice in what God is doing in our lives, without having to feel guilty that his workings in us are seemingly different.