Yesterday I posted about being a bookworm, and said that I am guilty of having read the odd romance or two. The truth is I am a softy. I love what is commonly known as chick flicks. In fact, my wife was initially attracted to me, because I had written that I liked the Note Book on my Face Book profile. Some of my other favourite
chick movies are: Never Been Kissed By a Guy, How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days and 50 First Dates.
Someone commented on my Facebook page that perhaps it was 50 Shades of Grey that I had read. I had to say no, it wasn’t. The truth be told, up until this point in time, I had never heard of it – yet alone read it. Okay, okay, yes – I can hear the comments, “Where has this guy been?”
However, I spoke to Joanne my wife about it last night, and she filled me in that all the guys at work are reading it. That she is seeing guys who don’t read much, pick it up and it read it through within a few days. She also said that they are talking about it – and that the talk isn’t always healthy. So I decided to look into it a bit more… and I didn’t really like what I found.
Even more disturbing, I go through my blog reading list this morning, and find the internet is ablaze about this book within Christian circles. What is causing the uproar, is not the book its-self; instead its about a blog post on the Gospel Coalitions website by Jared Wilson.
He quotes Doug Wilson, who by the way is an advocate for slavery and not against it… but I stray…
A final aspect of rape that should be briefly mentioned is perhaps closer to home. Because we have forgotten the biblical concepts of true authority and submission, or more accurately, have rebelled against them, we have created a climate in which caricatures of authority and submission intrude upon our lives with violence.
When we quarrel with the way the world is, we find that the world has ways of getting back at us. In other words, however we try, the sexual act cannot be made into an egalitarian pleasuring party. A man penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts. This is of course offensive to all egalitarians, and so our culture has rebelled against the concept of authority and submission in marriage. This means that we have sought to suppress the concepts of authority and submission as they relate to the marriage bed.
This quote is really dangerous. It actually reflects the nature of the book 50 Shades of Grey. I can accept that within a literal framework that its true, men have penis’s and women don’t. Therefore only a man can really penetrate in the act of sex…but the whole issue of the sex act being within a subjugation and submission framework of the man domineering the woman, is frankly sickening. You can read more about this Evans, Watts, Rod, Burleson, LePort, McKnight.
God has created man and women as equals. We equally sin and God equally loves us through Christ. Scripture tells us that in Christ, there is no male or female, slave or free, Jew or gentile, rather that all are one in Christ. Therefore if both the husband and wife are in Christ, they are equals in stature and function. And within this ethos, sex is to be mutually enjoyed or abstained from.
I totally agree however that there are aspects to our humanity where the man is called to conquer and win. And as men, we are called to conquer and win the hearts of our wives. Jesus shows us the way, he is the way, the truth and the life. He doesn’t win us over through subjugation and domineering. He wins us over by winning our hearts. He wins us over through his deep love and commitment to us. And within this context, we can learn some deep gospel truths from the movie 5o First Dates. The central character finds the the girl of his dreams. Who however has short term memory and cannot remember the previous day…and so each and every day, the guy who chases her, has to win her heart, every time. And he eventually does marry her, and each and every morning when she wakes up, he has to win her heart once again.
Guys, I truly believe that us men are meant to be conquerors. But let us do our conquering through love. Let our conquering be done through respect, commitment, patience, gentleness, kindness, mercy as well as Godly boldness. And through this, we shall conquer the hearts, the minds of those we love.